.thoughts.and.thoughts.

I said something yesterday that I wished I'd expanded on - but I couldn't because it was a little abstract and I had to think about it a bit.

It's what happens when you draw in public.
People look. And it's creepy. And when people say stuff about what you're doing in your private brain space, it's even creepier.

The part about working in your private brain space - that bit is important.
My sister tells people that I have creativity leaking out of my ears. And as much as I appreciate the compliment, the statement is a little misleading. It might look like I have creativity leaking out my ears - really I think my brains just works a little roundabout and backwards.


For example...
When I'm working in my sketchbook, which is really more like a train-of-thought-drawing book or visual diary, there's a lot of stuff going on. What I'm actually putting on paper is only part of the story. That last spread for instance - it started with that clipping of the flapper lady - because I needed something to be looking through the window from the previous spread. I'd been holding onto it for awhile, and was a little concerned I'd muck it up as I muck up all things given enough time, so glue and go. And then something - I'm not sure what, perhaps looking through previous pages - made me think about rabbits and that carrot-and-stick proverb, and then it was rabbits lusting after a carrot on a rope. I'd recently had a photoshoot with Phil Koenig, so the corn on the left and the barn and windmill came into play. Then I thought I should continue the horizontal border line from the previous spread since that window was there, but first I needed to put that floral wreath border around my flapper - and finish out the balance with the corn on the right side.
There was no grande genius moment of inspiration - just a short series of thought that might very much worry my therapist...or possibly make her feel better about a few things. It's a lot less about worrying over what would be awesome; and a lot more of just letting things happen.


Which is why I get creeped out when people watch me draw - at least in the beginning drawing stages, when I'm really sucked in and vulnerable. Because it's a very vulnerable space - lots of things flashing around in my brain and I have to take my guard down to put it on paper where it wants to live. It's pretty much the same reason why I absolutely can't have people around when I'm practicing dance - I know it doesn't look good because it's still getting all muddled out and rethought. It's a very vulnerable space and very much like a baby bunny - it needs shelter and protection and nourishment and to be left alone.


Speaking of Phil - I got new pictures!

And as long as I'm shamelessly self promoting...

JULY 12th!

I'm performing at RAW: Mixology, at the Uptown's Conspiracy Room, doors open at 8 and the show goes on to midnight. It's only 10$ and you can support me and buy a ticket here.
Because I have to sell 20.
And I'm offering things in return - Free entry to Raqs Bohéme at Czar Bar on the 20th (for the first five people to buy tickets only), or dance-class credit perhaps; even art prints if that's what floats your boat.